March 29, 2024

10 Tips for Grandparent of Toddlers

Posted on May 29, 2014 by in Features

Toddler Tips for Grandparents

By Kristen SturtToddlerGirlMama'sShoesW (courtesy www.grandparent.com)

When it comes to raising toddlers, parents need … buddy, please don’t eat the crayon. Don’t eat the crayon. DON’T EAT THE CRAYON. Please take it out of your mouth. OUT OF YOUR … Excuse me for a minute. Okay! I’m back. What was I saying? Oh, yeah.

When it comes to raising toddlers, parents need all the help we can get. And while advice and (especially) babysitting are much appreciated, certain kinds of assistance can overstep carefully laid-out boundaries. With that in mind, here are 10 ways to pitch in and help us parents of toddlers, without crossing any lines.

 

ChildGateW1. Make your home kid-friendly
What this doesn’t mean: Childproof every cabinet! Turn your living room into a daycare! Dress like the cast from a Disney cartoon!

What this does mean: Stash potentially harmful (glass, metal, pointy) home décor! Hide your medication!Put some books and toys aside for him! Maybe have a few diapers on hand? In other words, we love visiting you, as does your restless, wobbly grandchild.

While we don’t expect you to rearrange your house, it would make the stay even more pleasant if: A) he had an activity to occupy his hands; B) we didn’t have to worry about him being impaled on a crystal Nativity set.

 

 

2. Speak up!Mom&ToddlerW
Right now, her spoken vocabulary may not go much beyond “Elmo” and the ubiquitous “no,” but you can bet that child understands almost everything you say. Stoke those developing language skills by talking with (not at) her as much as possible. Studies show kids who hear more words learn faster, and do much better in school down the line.

 

 

ToddlerPottyW3. Don’t rush the potty
According to my highly scientific calculations, I have changed approximately five bamillion diapers since 2012. And while I long for the days of bladder control (him, not me), I know not to rush potty training—and you shouldn’t, either, Nana.

Why? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the average toddler approaches the toilet on his own “around age two,” and completes his studies over the course of a year. By contrast, lots of kids who start around 18 months “are not completely trained until after age four.” (WHAT!?)

 

 

 

 

 

4. Come down to his levelGrandmom&ToddlerW
Gone are the days of admiring your grandchildren from a distance. Early childhood specialists have found that floor time with toddlers—during which you get down on your hands and knees to play—is vital to development of all sorts: social, emotional, language, and so on. It’s especially valuable for young kids on the autism spectrum, since it helps with communication, relating, and eye contact. So, knees and hips permitting, hit the deck, Grandma and Grandpa!

 

 


ChildWithTVRemoteW5. Kill your TV (and your tablet, probably)

Consider this – The AAP recommends zero screen use for children younger than two.
Little kids who watch too much TV are at risk for sleep problems, mood swings, behavioral issues, and language delays.

Tablets are such new technology, there’s very little known about their neurological effects on toddlers. Still, experts suggest holding off on touch-screens until preschool.

Look, I’m no luddite, but your grandchild is only going to be this astoundingly cute for about ten seconds. Why not flip off the Cowboys game and have some quality time? (Though, it’s understandable—and sometimes totally necessary—to indulge in the occasional age-appropriate show.)

 

6. Encourage napsToddlerSleepingW
When babysitting, you may be tempted to postpone or skip your grand-toddler’s nap to spend more time with him. I beg you, for the good of humanity: Please don’t do that.

Beyond turning him into a tear-streaked terror monster, multiple studies have found that omitting nap time adversely affects attention spans, problem solving, and (no duh) mood. A solid 60 or 90 minutes of sleep will fix all that, and give you time to go to the bathroom.

 

 

ChildEatingW7. Avoid the food fight
A few years ago, I was one of those people who saw two-year-olds scarfing Chicken McNuggets and wondered what the hell was wrong with their parents. Now that I have a little boy, and know it’s the only protein he will eat, I understand, and I apologize. Grandparents, don’t be me. Unless your kids are force-feeding your grandchild strychnine, follow their mealtime leads and save your arguments for another time.

 

 

 

8. Choose simple, fun toysABCBlocks
Toys are a tricky topic to discuss, because parents are so grateful for gifts, and we never want to offend. But, say, if you wanted some guidance, opt for simple playthings that encourage kids to think, build, interact, and create; you know – the kind of toys you grew up with. They’ll foster motor and cognitive skills, along with good ol’ fashioned fun. Think:
— Crayons
— Blocks
— Giant puzzles
— Balls
— Instruments

 

 

ChildCryingW9. If you have to fight, do it rationally or elsewhere
All families have issues sometimes. And while it’s beneficial for children to observe tranquil, reasonable problem solving between adults, yelling and hostility are always big no-nos. In fact, a 2013 Cardiff University study of 300 families showed that kids are emotionally damaged by witnessing loud or physical arguments. If you ever feel you’re about to explode, try some quick calming techniques (see Sidebar) to spare the grandkids from the fallout. (See Calming Techniques below.)

 

 

 

10. When in doubt, let her warm up to youGrandmaOpenArmsW
Grandpa, we know you want to scoop up your little love muffin as soon as you see her. But wait! While your grandbaby may very well be a super-social hug machine, it’s likely she’s become more cautious over the last few months. Forcing an embrace can make toddlers uncomfortable, and some experts suggest it promotes the idea that a child’s body doesn’t belong to her. If she seems hesitant, hang back and let her come to you. Then, squeeze to your heart’s content.

 

Honorable Mention: Please, please, please babysit. (Please?) Think of it this way: the more alone-time we get, the more likely you are to get another grandbaby out of the deal.

 

 

 

Calming techniques
1. If you can, remove yourself from a situation.
2. Anticipate the response to your anger. Is everyone else going to get even angrier?
3. Let go of “should,” “ought,” and  “must.” No one appointed you police officer of the universe.
4. See the situation from the other person’s side. Picture them explaining what happened to someone else.
5. Be assertive, not aggressive. Problem-solve together with the involved parties. When everyone feels heard, there is less chance of anger.
6. Exercise for the long-term, not the short-term. Exercising regularly will make you feel calmer and more balanced overall and less likely to get angry.
7. Move forward. Tell yourself their behavior reflects on who they are, not who you are. Only your behavior, your reactions, define you.

Resources:
10 Things You Don’t Say to Parents – But Should
http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/family-matters/sshow-10-things-to-say-to-parents

9 Awkward Grandparenting Moments
http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/family-matters/awkward-moments-for-grandparents

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