Filling Your “Empty Nest”
Posted on August 1, 2014 by bob in Features
by Lisa M. Petsche
When the last of your offspring has left home, the adjustment can be difficult. This may be particularly so if you have focused the majority of your time and energy on raising your children, or if you’re a single parent and now find yourself alone. Feelings of emptiness may be profound, and challenging to overcome. If you are in this situation, here are some suggestions that can help.
Be kind to yourself
Recognize that it will take time to adjust to this new phase of life. Try not to dwell on the past, as it will keep you from moving forward.
Prepare a list
Make a list of things to do when you find yourself feeling lost or blue. Include small indulgences to give you a lift as well as tasks or projects that will give you a sense of satisfaction (for example, de-cluttering various areas of your home).
Look after your physical health
Eat nutritious meals, get adequate rest and exercise regularly. In addition to safeguarding your overall health, these measures will also help ward off depression.
Keep a positive attitude
Stay positive about life and aging, and associate with people who have a similar outlook.
Nurture your spirit
Write down your thoughts, feelings and experiences in a journal, chronicling your journey of self-discovery and growth.
Center yourself
Do things that bring inner peace, such as meditating, listening to music or spending time in nature.
Find meaning and purpose
Things that provide you with meaning and purpose include writing a family history, getting a pet, or helping someone you know.
Get busy
Think back to former pastimes that perhaps fell away once you had a family – playing a musical instrument, for example – and revive one you think you might still enjoy.
Something new
Take up a new activity, such as gourmet cooking, sculpting or yoga.
Community involvement
Volunteer for a neighborhood association, charitable or environmental cause, animal shelter or political campaign. If you miss being around young people, volunteer at a local school or community center or with a church youth group.
Plan trips
Do this with your spouse or friends, or perhaps on your own or with a tour group, depending on your situation and preferences.
Enjoy our own company
Cultivate solitary pastimes such as crossword or jigsaw puzzles, a hand craft, gardening or sketching.
Back to work
If you’ve been out of the work force while raising your family, look for a job.x
Back to class
Return to school for a certificate or diploma, perhaps even a degree, or just take courses here and there for personal interest. Check out the offerings from the local school boxard’s adult education center as well as post-secondary institutions.
Make a date
If you are married, go on regular dates with your spouse. Get creative, trying new activities and types of food, or revisit activities from your courting years. Take turns doing the planning. This is a good chance to step up the intimacy and generate some romance and excitement.
Reach out
Keep in touch with your offspring through modern technology. Learn to become comfortable with the communication methods they favor, such as texting, Skyping and using Facebook or other social media. Take the initiative in calling friends and relatives to talk or get together.
Seek help
If you don’t feel you’re adjusting well to your new circumstances, seek support from a counselor.
The reality of being an empty nester may seem unsettling. Whether you have an empty nest, or are facing one in the near future, with time, patience and trust in your resilience, you will successfully adapt and find yourself growing and enjoying life in ways you never imagined.
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker and a freelance writer specializing in Baby Boomer and senior health and wellness. She can be reached at lpetsche@idirect.ca.
