Frozen Roses, Broken Earrings: 88 Years of Marriage

Posted on January 31, 2012 by bob in Features

(Story by Brenda Robertson Dennis; Photos by Stone Images Photography)

Valentine’s Day is upon us, with stores swathed in pink and red, aisles brimming with heart shaped boxes and cards designed to help us express our deepest feelings for that special someone. To young couples this day might be a hallmark moment in their lives together (no pun intended). But for two local couples whose relationships have stood the test of time, every day is Valentine’s Day.

The Edwards
“I fell in love with a saxophone player!” Susan laughs, as her husband Chuck recounts the tale of how they met.
They were introduced when Chuck’s rock and roll band, the Apaches, played her senior prom in 1965. He was attending the University of Alabama and was friends with her future brother-in-law. But it was Susan’s prom date, in charge of hiring the band, who introduced them.

“It didn’t last long,” laughs Chuck. “We broke up after the summer.”

“He was too old for me,” Susan adds, referring to his being three years her senior.

By the time she moved to Tuscaloosa, Chuck’s father had passed away, and her future husband had left school to return to Montgomery and help with the family business, Edwards Plumbing and Heating.

Chuck and Susan Edwards. Married 43 years.

“I had run into her from time to time over the next two years” he recalls, “but I hadn’t stopped thinking about her. I called her at midnight one night after I’d come in from another date, I woke her up and said ‘why don’t you come down to Montgomery this weekend?’” She did.

They eloped three months later with both families’ blessings.

After 43 years of marriage they remain the best of friends. An energetic couple who seem much younger than their years, they work hard and play hard, with grandkids and a frisky adopted kitten named Little Sister.

“Our family is very close,” says Susan. “We travel together and enjoy each others company.  We’ve been to Australia, Europe… Chuck and I have always liked to travel just the two of us as well.  We always knew it was important to have that time to be ‘us,’ not just mom and dad.”

Close family bonds are important in the best of times, but never more so than when a heartbreaking tragedy occurs that places a severe strain on those bonds. The Edwards discovered how strong their family was when their four-month-old son, their fourth child, died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

“We had seen and heard of couples who had gone through situations like ours and blamed each other. But it just pulled us closer together. Our family knitted like a very tight woven sweater” says Susan.

“We still go to the cemetery on special days,” adds Chuck. “It’s hard to close that chapter in your life, but you have to move on.”

With three children and seven grandchildren, Chuck and Susan have always tried to lead by example, and spend as much quality time together with the children as possible.

“Our children could see if we got mad at each other that we’d talk about it,” says Susan. “We didn’t fight. There were no yelling and screaming matches. We traveled with them, spending time with them and letting them see how we interacted with each other.”

What advice do the Edwards have for young couples just starting their life together?

“Don’t ever go to bed mad,” says Chuck.

“You can’t say that,” Susan interjects playfully, “because I think we have actually gone to bed mad. But just talk about it. Don’t hold grudges. You might not like what you’re hearing, but you’ve got to accept it and not try to change that person. Don’t go into a marriage thinking ‘he’ll do it my way later on.’”

The ability to laugh doesn’t hurt either.

On their first Valentine’s Day as a married couple Chuck gave Susan a giant bouquet of red roses.

“But it was the day before Valentines and he left them in the truck,” Susan remembers. “It went down to like 17 degrees that night!”

“I walked in thinking I was doing something really great,” recalls Chuck, “and the minute the heat hit them they turned immediately black and the tops fell off.”

They burst out laughing like it was yesterday.

“I just got toothpicks and scotch taped them back together,” Susan says with the sweetest smile.

The Calhouns
Roosevelt and Dorothy Calhoun met on Christmas night, 1966. Both were divorced.

“My girlfriend came by and got me up out of the bed that day,” recalls Dorothy. “She said ‘we’re going out tonight!’”

They went to a club, where she and Roosevelt met. Dorothy was wearing her sisters’ earrings,    and while dancing, one of them fell off and was stepped on and broken.

“I was upset because I had borrowed them,” says Dorothy. “Then he (Roosevelt) said ‘well, I can fix it and bring it to you tomorrow.’”

Dorothy and Roosevelt Calhoun. Married 45 years.

“I didn’t even know how to fix an earring,” Roosevelt says laughing, remembering it was his way of getting to see her again. “I had to look at the other one to figure it out.”

But his makeshift jewelry skills paid off. A few days later, Dorothy arranged for a friend to invite Roosevelt to an event they were attending.

That was 45 years, four children, and 10 grandchildren ago. Both are now retired, and as they look back on their life together, you see a loving couple who still have a sparkle in their eyes for one another. Like many couples, they have faced challenges in their marriage — two heart attacks and triple bypass surgeries for Roosevelt.

The heart attacks resulted in the loss of all of his toes, and grueling recoveries tested them to their limits. But when asked about their greatest challenge, the story they relate ends up being more like a blessing.

“The thing that really made us stronger…well, the thing that made me stronger, was in 1984 I got saved.” says Dorothy. “It made me know that I wasn’t all that and a piece of cake,” she says laughing.

“After I established a relationship with the Lord, I knew that forgiveness was the main part of it. The key in our marriage, as far as I’m concerned, is forgiveness and respect, [and] the only person you can change is yourself. But when I got saved it was almost like having the Devil in the bed with [me],” recalls Dorothy. “But I also knew that the Bible says ‘a sanctified wife will sanctify your husband.’”

Roosevelt resisted, reluctant to accept his wife’s transformation.

“But I saw the change in her,” he says. “So she invited me to the church and I got filled with the Holy Spirit right there.”

The Calhouns on their wedding day.

Today, the Calhoun’s are charter members of New Life Church of God In Christ, where Roosevelt is the chairman of the Deacon Board, and Dorothy is the Mother of the Church, an advisory position to the younger people. Their faith, love, and life experience put them in a unique position to offer advice to young couples embarking on a life together.

But their advice is valuable whether the marriage is one year old, or 50.

“There are just three of you in your marriage: you, your spouse, and God. Keep your personal business between you and don’t involve family or friends.”

“Try not to go to bed mad. Somebody’s got to say ‘I’m sorry’.”

“Don’t keep secrets from each other.”

“Be careful what you say because it might just happen. Instead, speak unity into your marriage.”

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