A Pair Beats a Dozen
Posted on June 2, 2015 by bob in OffTheBeatenPath
Until my children were born, the only parenting I’d done involved dogs, chickens and a cat or two. The puppies in particular were quite the handful as all 12 required round-the-clock attention and were born at my wife’s and my busiest time of the work year. The dame of the litter – our Lab – only had four, how do I put this – “spigots” – that worked well enough for a pup to get a full belly, so each feeding was a well-orchestrated exercise. Put four pups on, let ‘em drink ‘til they roll off, put those in the pen and then repeat twice more. By the time the whole dozen had eaten the first shift were hungry again.
We meticulously weighed each pup daily so that the smallest four could eat first before all their bigger siblings. We washed 
endless loads of the old towels and blankets used to line the puppies’ play area, trying to be the best parents we could to the furry herd roaming our kitchen floor. When the water bill came in the first month we had the pups I remember telling my wife that we could have watered all day, every day during July and still come out ahead of running a puppy laundromat. But that litter taught us newlyweds a thing or two about caring for lives other than our own, about divvying up the duties, and about managing and balancing work and home responsibilities.
One night after we’d each worked a full day, we’d gotten the pups fed earlier than usual and decided to go out for supper. We sat down on the sofa in the den – just to rest for a moment before changing and heading out – and somehow awoke bleary-eyed, two hours later, to a chorus of hungry puppies.
While they were a great deal of work, we really had a blast with those puppies. Watching the herd roam the lawn and explore the world, nurturing them to the point where they could go to their new homes. Multiply that by 12 and we had a lot of fun.
We’d been married barely two years when the pups were born and someone – I can’t exactly remember whom – told us, “As busy as y’all are, if y’all can survive 12 puppies, then kids will be a piece of cake.” Between all the laundry, medicine, feedings, etc., I figured they were probably right…until we had kids.
There are few things you’ll never forget. My list is pretty short, but close to the top is the birth of my two kids. I remember what I was wearing, what time of day it was, who was in the room and a passel of other mundane details. But I’ll also never forget that first night home with my daughter, who cried all night long, my wife’s tired face as she moved from 30-minute sleep session to 30-minute sleep session, and my exasperatingly telling her “this is nothing like puppies.” All she could manage was an “uh-huh.”
Nearly two-and-a-half years later and with my son turning one in August, I can say unequivocally that whoever it was that told us kids would be a walk in the park after puppies was wrong, wrong, wrong. We’ve changed a mountain of diapers, gone through gallons of baby lotion and logged countless miles between our house and our wonderful pediatrician’s office. While my son has on the whole been easier than my daughter, at least up to this point, who’s to know whether that’s a reflection of the parents or the child? Perhaps it’s a bit of both.
But all the dirty diapers, colicky all-nighters and fever and stomach viruses we’ve been through with our two children can’t compare to the joy we’ve experienced watching them grow into the adults I know they’ll one day become. I hope that time passes slowly, that we can soak up each moment with them and savor each of these never-again stages of their lives. In those terms, our pair beats a dozen pups anytime.
That being said, to the person who told us that kids would be easy after puppies, you know who you are – even if I can’t remember due to sleep deprivation. For what it’s worth, two is way more than 12.
Niko Corley, a licensed charter boat captain, spends as much of his free time as possible on the water or in the woods. He can be contacted at niko.corley@gmail.com.
