Things We Ate As Kids (part 1)
Posted on July 28, 2011 by bob in Features
by Tom Ensey
We Baby Boomers came of age during a golden era of weirdness in the manufacture and distribution of confections, crackers and more-or-less edible doo-dads that were none too tasty and in some cases, just wrong. But we babysat and mowed lawns, saved our allowances, bought this junk and ate it. Why would we do that? We were kids. What are you gonna do? But do you ever wonder whatever happened to:
Candy Cigarettes
Cylinders of chalky sugar tipped on one end with red food coloring to simulate the glow of a burning cigarette. The packs they came in were remarkable recreations of those that contained mom and dad’s deadly, adult treats. Candy cigs are all too easy a target for gleeful ridicule, but on the other hand, damn!
Here was the marriage of sugar and tobacco, two of the most unhealthy, legal addictive substances known to man, precursors of a multitude of diseases, marketed and sold exclusively to kids. Small wonder a 2010 web hoax announcing that candy cigs had been banned in the U.S. was bought hook-line-and-sinker by a number of blogs and online publications. But that was just a pipe dream.
While candy cigs and their bubblegum and chocolate counterparts have been outlawed in a handful of countries, here in America, they’re legal as milk and available 24-7-365 via the Internet.
Fire up the computer and puff some nostalgia in bulk at: www.blaircandy.com.
Necco® Wafers
These multicolored, quarter-sized, rock-hard disks were available in packs you could buy over the counter at drug stores and smuggle onto the school bus to pop in your mouth and enjoy surreptitiously in the dark corners of math class when Teacher turned her back to write on the board.
Was it worth the risk? Not if you got the black-colored, licorice one. Ugh. The other flavors ranged from weird purple (clove) to hot pink (cinnamon) to almost-not-awful brown (chocolate).
These candies are among the oldest in U.S. history, manufactured since 1847 by Chase and Company, which eventually became the New England Confectionary Company (hence, NECCO).
Made possible by a stamping machine used originally to manufacture medicinal lozenges, the wafers were, according to some sources, included during the Civil War in rations of Union soldiers as a source of quick energy. Maybe it worked. They won.
Since the wafers are all but indestructible, won’t melt or crush in shipping and last roughly for eternity, they also were included in the knapsacks of the victorious Allies in World War II. They accompanied Admiral Byrd to the South Pole and Donald MacMillan to the Arctic.
NECCO, based in a massive warehouse in Massachusetts, also manufactures Clark Bars, Mary Janes and Sweethearts – those chalky heart-shaped deals stamped with lovey-dovey messages that you see every Valentine’s Day. People who have tried them divide sharply into two camps.
– You find them delightful, or
– You’d rather eat a poker chip, for which they can serve as a reasonable facsimile.
You can order five pounds, enough to last for several generations, for $24.98 at www.candyfavorites.com.
Ed.’s Note: Next month, Tom Ensey continues his irreverent three-part look back at Boomer childhood treats, in “Things We Ate As Kids”, Part 2.
